Saturday, January 2, 2010

Hello Kitty, Not



My evil plot to take over the world continues apace. In an effort to weaken my humans, I have decided to wail outside their bedroom door every morning at 4:00 am. After a few weeks of this behavior, they will almost certainly give in to my demands.

I am also determined to weaken them economically. I will therefore refuse to eat the very smelly and very expensive special diet food that they have purchased from the veterinarian. And I will try my best to spit out the tiny pills they force down my throat every evening. Luckily for me, the pills tend to crumble once they have been ejected from my mouth.

I will look cute and innocent when I greet them each morning, presenting my belly to be rubbed. When I have lulled them into a false sense of security, I will unleash fangs and claws.

There will be blood.

I will continue my daily effort to add to their discomfort by shredding the furniture, and depositing copious amounts of hair over every available surface.

Finally, I will test the limits of my multi-cat-formula litter. Surely with a little application, I will be able to overwhelm the anti-odor formulation, and scatter it across the floor as well.

Soon the world will be mine.

*****

Will you join me for another year of Mosaic Monday? Mr. Linky will be up by 8:30 pm Sunday. As always, there is no required subject. You may post about anything you like. I look forward to seeing your mosaics. :)

42 comments:

  1. Mary! I didn't even know you had a cat! Now I'll have to check out your other kitty posts! Judging by those eyes I'd say he/she is an older kitty too. Sorry to hear about the pills : (

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  2. Do you need George to come over and straighten out your kitty? On second thought, he'd probably run and hide.
    Sorry you're being awoken at 4 am! And hey, things are looking quite different over here. Pretty header, too.

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  3. I am convinced that as soon as I leave the house for work in the morning, my three cats get together and plot my demise. Do you remember the Steve Martin routine about how his cat would go to the bank, disguised as him and try to cash his checks?

    Those Kitties...you can't let your guard down!

    Kelly
    Second Hand Chicks

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  4. Finally, a cat I can admire.
    Fondly,
    Mr. Dion DiPoochy, resident dog at That Old House

    PS Nice new header! I am all agog. -- Cass

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  5. That evil plotting is why I'm a "dog person" - cats put too much thought into their look.

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  6. Oh how funny! Sounds just like my house only I have two. Twice the hair, twice the scattered cat litter and twice the shredding of the furniture. On the other hand, they provide us with much entertainment and keep me warm and toasty while I'm lying on the couch. Heaven forbid I might need to move or stand up though! They become thoroughly annoyed that I've disturbed "their" sleep. Great post.

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  7. Funny. My cats 'say' the same thing! Perhaps it's The Cat Conspiracy.
    I am new to blogging and found you blog via Twice Remembered. Thank you for the smile this morning. I enjoyed reading through some of your blog and will be returning.

    Wishing you a happy, healthy, prosperous and hair ball- free new year.

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  8. so funny...but all together true. that's why we banished our 14 year old cat to the outside...cruel i know but she seems to be flourish outside.
    happy january.

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  9. That is so like a cat! How cute this is and I love the little upper lip slightly looking evil! What a capture!

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  10. Boy can my husband relate. I have a little more tenderness toward Cocoa, the feline that shares our home, but he is not quite as tolerant. You're creative writing continues to be quite entertaining. BTW, I ordered six old copies of "A Lantern in her Hand" and read one before Christmas this year and then gave them as gifts to my mother and five best girlfriends. It was a wonderful book and inspired me to appreciate even more the opportunities I have to provide for my children, no matter how tired or weary I might become when it appears I'm not making headway or much of a difference on a daily basis. Thank you for bringing this book to the attention of your followers. I highly recommend for your reading pleasure "The Glass Castle" an autobiography by Jeanette Walls. An entirely different approach to child rearing, yet the spirit in the children is remarkable. This book was recommended on another blog I follow and I think it will also make the gift list next Christmas. I only gave it to my Mom this year who read it and "A Lantern in her Hand" within three days she loved them both so much. Another similarly inspiration book recommended by a blogger is "A Fortunate Life" which is an Australian classic. I'm only half way through this one - - a little thicker book and harder to get from the library - - but a wonderful read nonethelss and one I have a hard time putting down. Again, thanks for your thoughtful, funny and inspiration posts and if you haven't read either of these books, I hope you will find them enjoyable. Happy New Year.

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  11. I recognize this cat all too well. ;D

    Lovely and warm new header!

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  12. I can relate totally with what you are saying. I have two cats - Roly and Lucy. Both are now quite old at 17 and 15 years, but use our house as their private hotel. They are fed twice a day and know exactly at what time and you dare be 5 minutes late and its war. They sleep wherever they want (except on my bed). They go in and out whenever they please and will only sit on a warm lap. I would not be without my two kitty's.
    Enjoy

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  13. Thanks for my laugh today. Are you sure that is not a picture of my Frisky and you just changed it around on photoshop? For sure they sound like brothers.

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  14. Oh I know all so well the determinations of the feline breed. We now have 11 cats....10 at our greenhouse. They do take over the world but so too our hearts.
    What is the saying? Dogs have masters...cats have staff!
    Good Luck!
    Carole
    Happy New Year!

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  15. Your post is so cute. It reminds me of those email jokes about How to give a cat a pill or How to give your cat a bath. :)

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  16. That is hilarious, Mary! And that cat photo does make it look "slightly demented."
    Brenda

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  17. i remember most of this very well. since my move, the kitty has become a basement kitty as my brother is allergic to them. i miss him sleeping with me but i don't miss the hair, urine and other icky aspects.

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  18. Great post to go along with a great photo!

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  19. Mary,
    Love the post and the new header is beautiful. As try to type my cat is pushing my hands off the keys....
    hugs,
    Donna

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  20. Last year about this time, I won a winter photograph from you. I have framed it and it's so pretty. I blogged about it - http://firstadream.blogspot.com/2009/12/unexpected-good-things.html.

    I want to thank you again. -Denise

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  21. Thanks for the chuckle and that picture of the cat is priceless. Cat plotting is going on in houses across America, I am sure of it.

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  22. Ah ... methinks you've found Ms. Kitty's twin (in more ways than one) ... FUN post! Of course I'll be sharing mosaics for Monday! Hope you enjoyed your time away from blogging and welcome back ;-)
    Happy New Year!
    Hugs and blessings,

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  23. Are you sure you're talking about YOUR cat????? It's such a comfort to know there are other people besides us that are living out their lives as indentured servants to their "kitties".

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  24. Pets do tend to take over the world/home, don't they? 4 a.m. wailing... that could be considered serious take-over actions!

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  25. Makes me very thankful for my almost pur-fect cat. I was never a cat person before, but she has won me over to the cat side with her sweet disposition. In the last few weeks she has started meowing at the bedroom door to get out. About 7:00 each morning she wants to go downstairs see the birds. By then it's time to get up anyway.

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  26. Oh, kitty is way too beautiful to be evil!
    xo...Kathy

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  27. So cute! But I'm afraid my dog is also plotting to take over the world. She certainly has taken over the house! lol Rosie

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  28. I didn't know you had a cat!! Your cat must know my one cat!! My dog, Rocky' is scared of him and the cat will sit in a doorway on purpose to keep the dog from passing. Poor Rocky just lays down and whimpers!! (And that's because he's tried to pass before and has gotten whacked!!!!)

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  29. And here I was thinking things will get easier as our little monster kitty grows into an adult cat. Thanks for bursting my bubble! LOL!
    Happy New Year!
    Dawn

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  30. I love this post. Your cat looks like our cat that passed away in August. If the pills do not work, and there is a compound that can be used, try that. I swore that I would never get another cat, but 5 weeks after our George died, we rescued 6 year old Oscar. He does not demand to get into the closed bedroom doors until the alarm goes off in the morning. We leave him his clean catbox, water, crunchies and soft food mixed with crunchies and the house minus bedroom access, and a blanket on the sofa. Try using a fan in your bedroom, as it muffles the meows, or ear plugs. Mine is sitting on my lap as I try to type and weighs 18 pounds. Good luck.

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  31. LOL...I think we the your cat's twin!

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  32. Oh my, too funny and too true. I wil NOT show this to Niblet or Prissilla, MB

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  33. Your cat should write a book! Very cute!
    Catherine

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  34. This is just too funny!!! I sooooo do love kitty kats!!! We had a cat for 21 years, little Ms. Winnie .... how I miss a kitty in the house!! They are the rulers of the world, aren't they? the picture is priceless! Thanks for the chuckles.

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  35. OK...either my cats were separated at birth from yours...or they all have access to the same "Evil Plots & Plans For Feline Domination" handbook!!! And then they purrrrrrr and all is forgotten! ;} I am at once, sympathetic and splitting my sides with hilarity as I adjust my laptop so miss Sammy can claim my lap for herself!

    m ^..^

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  36. Oh my goodness. I shall back up Ms. Mid Night, all 26 lbs of her and send her to help.Ha! I do believe we have related cats. Don't even try to win the battle....

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  37. He's adorable, but on second glance looks like he might be plotting something!

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  38. Mary your furry guy is very handsome and he obviously has you all wrapped around his little claw..lol I have one like this too! Gotta love them!

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  39. I can relate, especially that yowling outside the bedroom door. What's up with *that*??

    Janet

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  40. Lucy wants to mee!t this guy She just laid here and stared at the screen...then she looked at me and meowed, LOUDLY! I think she is in love.: )
    Our pets will take over the world soon...someday soon...but for now, they seem content controling us!
    Love,
    Sue

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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. I love to hear what you have to say!