Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Great Expectations




I sat down to open the mail today, surrounded by the inevitable mess that comes with all of the preparations for Christmas. (And, of course the inevitable mess that comes just because I am a truly terrible housekeeper.) I had just finished reading a blog post where the author was searching for a little Christmas spirit. And truthfully, I have felt that way at times over the years. All the preparations for the holiday -- the decorating, the cooking, the gift buying and wrapping -- can begin to seem overwhelming. You know what I mean, don't you? We stress over every little detail as if Martha Stewart herself were to stand in judgment of our work. Everything has to be perfect.

And then I read a story that stopped me in my tracks.

The Center for Great Expectations provides residential treatment for homeless pregnant adolescents and their children, and for homeless pregnant adult women in early substance abuse recovery, along with their children. Here is a story from their latest newsletter:

A Memory of Christmas Past
told by Sister Sheila

Last Christmas, the staff had the opportunity to take the residents out for a nice dinner, thanks to a special donation from a single donor. It was a simple meal at an inexpensive chain restaurant, but to our women it was a huge treat. While the most expensive dinner on the menu was inexpensive by common standards, it was thrilling to tell them they could order what they would like to have, instead of only a few items on the menu. Their faces lit up and they immediately started to chatter about what they would have. Giddy at the thought, several suggested that they would order dessert for an appetizer, main meal and dessert! Of course that was only a fantasy as the staff made sure they ordered a very healthy meal. It was during the meal that the staff suggested they all share their favorite holiday memory. There was dead silence. Nothing. No response. Stares and blank faces...

Finally, as the silence became overwhelming, one girl spoke up to say, "We have no Christmas memories. Holidays were terrible times and we have nothing nice to remember." Again, silence. This time the blank looks and stares were on the faces of the staff. Trying to imagine what that was like, the staff could not find the right thoughts to process the information. So they began to ask questions. "You mean you never went with your family to see the Christmas lights?" "You mean you never had Christmas dinner?" "You mean you never decorated a tree, sang songs, and hung your stocking?" One by one, the residents answered no -- they had never done that. Right then and there Sister Sheila said, "Well, we are going to fix that right now! Come on girls we are going out to make some memories!" It was Christmas Eve, and everyone became excited to see what would happen next. They all piled into the van and off they went. Sister took them to neighborhoods that she knew had spectacular holiday decorations and lights. They sang songs and when they arrived at some especially beautiful displays, the residents jumped out of the van and stood in awe of how beautiful they were. This went on house after house until everyone was tired and cold.

Sister Sheila next brought them to Mass at St. Matthias Church. The beautiful songs, candles and so many people moved them, and they asked question after question. Father Doug spoke of unity and being one under God, and each of Sister Sheila's residents felt he was speaking just to them. Their hearts were touched, and when the collection was taken, these young girls who had nothing took the single dollar bill that they were allowed to have as emergency money, and put it into the collection. Sister Sheila was touched, and will never forget that magical night, especially when they all wanted to go up to the altar to receive Communion!

After church and back at the Center, they sat in the kitchen with hot chocolate, and while they sipped their chocolate and reflected on the night they had just experienced, one of the residents said, "Sister, I will never forget this night. This was the night when we started our first Christmas memories; and Sister, next year when someone asks me what my favorite Christmas memory is, I won't ever have to say 'I don't have one'."

*****

The Center for Great Expectations
19B Dellwood Lane
Somerset, NJ 08873

27 comments:

  1. This is truly a lovely story. Thanks for sharing it. We do tend to take so many wonderful things for granted, don't we?

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  2. A beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.

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  3. Heartbreaking and heartwarming in one fell swoop! Thanks for sharing...
    joy c. at grannymountain

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  4. A very moving story. . .
    Very often we take so much for granted & don't realise how lucky we are.
    Hearing story like this puts things into perspective.
    Thank you for sharing this.

    Kind Regards

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  5. What a truly beautiful story, we have so much to be grateful for and the fact that we are busy with holiday preparations should serve as a reminder how blessed we are! Our church hosts homeless families throughout the year but one young woman, her husband and baby will be in my memories. As guests staying in our church over Christmas week we tried to make things festive for them , held a potluck dinner and brought them gifts. This young family said it was their best Christmas ever...despite being homeless, sleeping on cots and spending it with strangers!

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  6. That was beautiful! I'm crying just thinking about these young women.

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  7. We need reminders like this every now and then that not everyone is as blessed as we may be. I'm heading out to a Christmas celebration for a group of volunteers who really do make a difference in the lives of so many less fortunate. It takes so little to make a memory.

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  8. Mary, Thanks for the reminder that we all need to step outside our own beautifully decorated homes and open our eyes and hearts to what goes on in the rest of the community and world. I have a friend from high school who runs a similar home for unwed mothers in Texas. I think she is a saint.

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  9. so glad Mary to have discovered your blog!!!

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  10. What a beautiful story. I'm so glad these women have a place to go and be safe. I am sending a donation to the address. Thanks for the reminder that Christmas is more than decorations and stuff. I work at a local food bank in my town two or three days a week and it is a constant reminder to me that there are so many people who need a helping hand. Thanks for sharing and Merry Christmas. --Delores

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  11. Wonderful story. Sure puts things in perspective doesn't it?
    *hugs*deb

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  12. a beautiful story - thanks for sharing it

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  13. Isn't that a shame. My hubby had no special good holiday memories from his childhood, either. It just breaks my heart. Rosie

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  14. Mary, thank you so much for sharing this wonderful story.

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  15. beautiful story. Puts it all in perspective and makes me appreciate all I am blessed with.

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  16. Oh, Mary. There's a world of hurt out there, isn't there? Thanks for sharing this wonderful story.

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  17. Fascinating story. I get to help take the elderly sisters at the convent down the road out to see Christmas lights at Christmas. Most have been in the convent for over 50 years and since they were just young girls they never had all the bright lights. They are so joyed at such simple things it makes you feel grateful to be with them.
    QMM

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  18. If only everyone could grow up with beautiful Christmas memories perhaps there would be no story such as this. How terribly sad to think these women had no true childhood - this story certainly is heart-wrenching. I pray for all the good people who are doing their best to help those without much to celebrate at Christmas. If we can all do a little bit it will help so many.

    Merry Christmas to you and yours Mary.

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  19. Okay...now I'm all teary eyed and my nose is running...that was good though and sometimes we just need to stop and get out of our own way. I was really sad after coming home this week from visiting my son and daughter in-law in Pittsburgh because they won't be here for Christmas and without kids...it's really hard to get into the spirit. But also found a great surprise from you and houzz in my inbox...woo hoo...I was the winner from your interview on houzz...cool beans. I blogged about it and just wanted to share it with you. Thanks so much for picking a fun prize...and after reading your post today...I just might have to find some other kids who need some Christmas memories. Thanks Mary!
    http://con-tain-it.typepad.com/my_weblog/2009/12/winnerwinnerchicken-dinner.html

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  20. Oh Roberta, that's marvelous! Congratulations! :)

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  21. We tend to think that everyone around us has the same experiences that we do. This story broke my heart for those poor girls who had never expereinced the magic of Christmas. I will be keeping my eyes open for someone who hasn't had the advantages and happiness that I have had and hopeing I can give some of that magic to them. Thank you for sharing this Mary.

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  22. Mary,
    What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it...I am going to print it off and send it to my father in law. He will be very touched by this...

    xo,
    annie

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  23. Thank you, Mary, for sharing this. God has put a young teen girl on my heart who recently had a baby boy, and sadly, he loved for only 1 day. I have a gift book for her that I hope will give her comfort in her grief, and that it will help her memories of him each Christmas be sweet and dear.

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  24. A most welcome story with an extra special meaning during these days when the church's faults have been the only thing everyone seems to talk about. It's nice to hear about the positive side! Beautiful Blog.

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  25. I just read this beautiful post and it brought tears to my eyes. You could have been writing about me and my lack of Christmas spirit; then I read the story and it changed my whole attitude. Thank you for blessing me today. Hugs, Debbie

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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. I love to hear what you have to say!