"Elsie de Wolfe's famous pronouncement -- 'A house should be attractive, comfortable and suitable. The food should be good; you should be beautifully dressed' -- says it all. I might add that the flowers should express your sensibility; the atmosphere should reflect your personality; and the housekeeping should be impeccable."
So, let's see...
1. attractive, comfortable, suitable? Two out of three, I think...
2. good food? Does takeout pizza count?
3. you should be beautifully dressed? Ummm, not happening.
4. the flowers should express your sensibility? What does a mixture of faux and dying express?
5. the atmosphere should reflect your personality? Gosh, I don't even know where to start with this one.
6. the housekeeping should be impeccable? Oh, hell no.
(Sometimes, things just tend to pile up on my dining room table. That happens to you, too, right?)