Once upon a time, on a beautiful and temperate winter's day, a lovely family went to the tree farm to cut down their Christmas tree.
They chose a small tree, because they lived in a Little Red House. They cut it down and dragged it across the fields to their car.
They dragged, and they dragged, and they dragged some more.
Then they dragged even farther. They tied it to the roof of their Honda Pilot and began to drive home. They were very happy.
Nothing could mar their happiness, except maybe the sound of the tree falling off the roof of the car. But they stopped, and tied it even tighter. And they arrived home safely to their Little Red House.
They were so happy.
And then they put the tree in their wonderful tree stand and brought it inside. Whereupon the tree would not stand straight, and the *#%??##*** tree stand broke.
I won't burden you with the rest of the story, but you can probably guess how the rest of the day went.
Don't you love Christmas?